I found this on the internet. It is obviously a few years old, but it is pretty funny. My apologies about the bad language, but I did not write it...
Scott Boras Demands $35 Million To Rescue Drowning Child
EAST HAMPTON, NY--Scott Boras has long been known as a tough negotiator. That reputation was bolstered yesterday when the super agent demanded $35 million to rescue a small child drowning in the ocean near Boras’s home in East Hampton, New York.
The child, an eight-year-old named Danny Corgin, was swimming at a private beach when he was caught in the undertow and dragged away. As he flailed and cried for help, Boras relaxed on the deck of his luxury yacht. The boy’s grandmother pleaded with Boras to help, but the agent steadfastly refused, holding steady to his demand for $35 million dollars.
“My grandson was swimming around when all of a sudden he was caught in a riptide and dragged out to sea,” said Ethel Corgin, the boy’s grandmother. “I didn’t know what to do. There was nobody else around and I certainly couldn’t help him. I saw that man relaxing on his yacht, reading a book like there was nothing going on. When I asked for his help, he just said ‘You want me to save a drowning child? Hmmm…that kind of thing will run you around 35 million.’ I tried to negotiate with him, but he was unwavering. I’ve never seen anyone so stubborn, greedy, and heartless in my life. What is he, a sports agent?”
Corgin said that she was struck by Boras’s casual demeanor, even as her grandson struggled to stay afloat in the vicious riptide.
“He was panicking, the poor thing. He thought he was going to drown, I’m sure,” she said. “There was nothing I could do but pray. I thought for sure that [Boras] would help but he really wanted that money. He said I could give him 10 million up front and sign a written guarantee to deliver the rest within a week. He had the contracts already made up. He just whited out ‘third baseman’ and added ‘drowning child.’”
In the end, a deal was not struck. Fortunately, a fishing boat came by and plucked young Danny out of the water before he could drown. Corgin was relieved, but still outraged over Boras’s refusal to rescue her grandson.
For his part, Boras explained that he was just exercising good business sense and prudent negotiating.
“How much is an eight-year old boy’s life worth?” asked Boras. “Can you really ever say ‘No- that’s too expensive. I’d rather just let the boy drown?’ No, of course not. I was shocked when Mrs. Keelan refused my offer to save the boy. If you’re not willing to shell out a few bucks to save the life of a child, you’ve got to take a long look in the mirror. Nothing’s free in this world. If you want something, you have to pay for it. It’s called ‘capitalism.’ Obviously Mrs. Corgin is some kind of godless commie freak.”
While young Danny was drowning, Boras described his mood as “horrified” and denied Corgin ’s allegations that he was casually reading his book.
“I think she is in denial or something,” said Boras. “It’s crazy to say that I was just causally looking on. I kept thinking how much I would love to save the boy and what a great situation it would be if I could just swing over there in my boat and grab him, but Mrs. Corgin and I just couldn’t see eye to eye on compensation. I even acquiesced a little and told her to just give me 10 million up front, since the boy was dying and all. But she still refused. Talk about stubborn. She ought to be arrested for child neglect.”
Several baseball owners and general managers have had similar experiences with Boras. After learning about the East Hampton incident, a few came forward in support of Mrs. Corgin.
Arizona Diamondbacks GM Joe Gargiola, who haggled with Boras this year over the team’s number one draft pick, called the agent “a piece of shit.”
“That guy is a horrible asshole,” he said. “He wouldn’t save his own damn child for free. If I were that woman, Mrs. Corgin, I’d sue him for everything he has. How can you sit in your yacht and casually read a book while a young child is flailing in the water before you? He’s even worse than those pricks, the Poston brothers. Sure, they’ve had a few people killed, but not children. That’s f****** sick.”
While Boras’s actions have been deemed despicable by some, major league baseball players are flocking to him in record numbers. His aggressive, tough-nosed tactics have made his clients some of the most highly paid in the game.
“He refused to save a drowning child because his grandmother wouldn’t pay him 35 million?” asked Red Sox pitcher Derek Lowe, who is scheduled to be a free agent at the end of the year. “That’s sick. It’s cruel. It’s inhuman. He has absolutely no sense of decency or restraint. Anyone have his number?”